Some Resolutions...

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I will get in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I will gain the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I will assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I will recognize that in some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. I will understand that my intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I will not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. If someone hurts me, I will acknowledge that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, though not nearly as rewarding.

8. I will become one with my duality.

9. I will be more flexible, for then I can tie myself in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I will honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. I will maintain that a scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future.

16. I will feel secure in the fact that the complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I will walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

Here's to a promising New Year to all!!!

Challenges for 2007!!

I stumbled across a group blog entitled 12 Months of Health, Fitness, and Fun . This looked so interesting that I just had to join in and share it! It's very different from anything I've seen online so far. Each participant sets a different monthly priority for 2007. Once set, you are assigned a partner from the group and you pair up to support each other in reaching whatever your goal may be. It could be something as simple as drinking 8 glasses of water per day to something as specific at and entire fitness plan for the month!! At the end of the month, you send each other a special award or trinket for attaining their goal.

It looks like a great way to reinforce those unique bonds we create here in cyberspace and to expand your support group a bit!! Currently, there are 13 participants (I just submitted mine, so I'm not on there yet) and I am sure that there is room for many more!!

My goal for January incorporates my step challenge. I aim to step at least 7500 steps per day during the month of January!! Wish me luck!!

Funny Friday

Amazingly enough, this isn't true this week!! I actually have lost 4 pounds since returning to program on Wednesday!! WTH?!?! I have a fellow blogger that weighs herself everyday and I would expect a minute daily change, but DAMN!! Granted, I have been a bit sick to my {lower} stomach the last couple days which have resulted in a tremendous amount of private time in my restroom. I'm not going to complain!! It just puts me that much closer to the target challenge goal of 15 pounds by January 12. If I can reach that at the official weigh-in, I will be entered into a drawing for a $200 gift certificate!! Only 4.8 pounds to go and 2 weeks to do it in!!

Speaking of challenges, I have added a new ticker here. I challenged Annieann77 to a Step Off. We both have new pedometers and are aiming for a tremendous number of steps (232500 to be exact!!) completed during January! If anyone else is interested, jump right in, but be warned there may be some trash talking!!! ;)

Annieann77, you better look out, girl!! I practiced yesterday and I logged 8,954 steps!!! I am gonna walk all over your tail!! ;)

Now, I'm off to enjoy a long weekend, a couple margaritas, and hopefully, a nice grilled chicken breast!!

Who yo daddy?

Your Daddy Is Darth Vader

What You Call Him: Dada Why You Love Him: He knows best

Who's" Your Daddy?

Wow! This explains alot!! Maybe I should just succumb to the dark side!!!!

Teaser Thursday

I am a movie fanatic and I absolutely love to keep up with the coming attractions. I have started to notice that you get so little mention of movies with budgets less than $100 million these days, so in the spirit of sharing, I present Teaser Thursday. It's a chance for me to share some of the not-so-blockbusters (and some of the more anticipated ones, too, of course) on the horizon. Keep in mind, I am not a professional critic, nor have I any advanced knowledge or access to these films. This is only an expression of interest in these pictures based on their trailers as posted on their respective websites!!!






Miss Potter


The Weinstein Company


January 5, 2007


http://www.potter-movie.com/


Starring: Renée Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, Emily Watson, Barbara Flynn, Bill Paterson, Lloyd Owen






I have always loved "The Tale of Peter Rabbit", but I have never even considered the life of it's author and artist Beatrix Potter. This looks to be the enchanting tale of her life during the publication of her world-renowned children's book. A love affair and subsequent proposal from an oddly mustached suitor (Ewan McGregor) results in family tensions and societal pressure. Miss Potter finds strength and independence following "tragedy and loneliness"; a statement that leaves me in fear of a tearful ending that has likely resulted in this movie's classification as a drama and not a romantic comedy. A cast of wonderfully charming actors only increases my urge to see this one!!

In case you didn't notice, the time now is 3:26 AM. For some reason, my eyes just popped open this morning and I can't get back to sleep. Maybe I am excited because my daughter is going to work with me today. Or maybe I just went to bed a bit too early last night (around 9; many more hours sleep than I am used to getting!!) Either way, here I sit with little else on my mind so I find myself surfing the web and trying to just stay up a couple more hours until it's time to rouse the family. I wonder if there is anything worthwhile on television...

Wednesday Wisdom

It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up. - Vince Lombardi

Dragging myself up out of the quagmire of overindulgence is not very easy. I still have to look at all the wonderful sweet things that I love lying all over the house. Cordial cherries, egg nog, holiday cookies all seem to be staring at me from every corner of my home. Ugh!! But, I am going to face those temptations and attempt to stand back up, stronger and wiser!

I weighed myself this morning to find that the holidays were not good to me. I have gained almost 6 pounds back since November. On the bright side, at least I didn't gain back all 12 that I had lost so it's still a great jumping off point for the new year!! It put my fat tail back up on that diet wagon though!! I am starting out fresh again and have settled on a couple new strategies to go along with 2007. My hubby teaches so he has quite a bit more time off for the holidays than I so I have set him a research assignment for today. He is to read over my fitness contract and try to think up some ways to be more supportive and helpful with my new lifestyle change. I have appointed him my unofficial trainer. I think by keeping him up-to-date on my progress will help him to become a bit more sympathetic to my struggle and maybe even influence him too. We'll see...

Now, to a new grievance: Have you ever just wanted to beat the hell outta someone? I almost succumbed to road rage on my way to work this morning. I am typically a very calm person, but I think this guy would have deserved it! He was a total road hog and a huge jerk! He was driving a truck with those spot lights on top of it. You know, the ones hunters usually have even though they are illegal to use in most places... Anyway, this guy was tailing me for a while with those things on and shining right in my face!! I even slowed down to let him pass and he just stayed there...inches from my bumper! Finally, the road became 2 lane highway, but only temporarily. He finally passes me in the left lane, then gets back in front of me, slows to a crawl, and puts his brake on every few seconds. He actually turned around to look at me a few times!!! Then, he got on his phone and looked like he was telling a buddy about how much fun he was having!! That's when I got on my phone and dialed 911. I told them about my reckless driver, where he was, and his license plate number. I continued to follow him at an attempted safe distance while he continued to creep and brake. The 2 lanes appeared again and I tried to pass him. He sped up!! Laughing the whole time!! I just couldn't believe it!!!!! He finally let me pass and when he was behind me again, he turned those spot lights back on! I actually felt like I was in danger! I called 911 again and told them that I was being harassed and was worried for my safety from this person following me. Now, I take a back road highway to work and my commute is about 30 minutes just to get into the city. I was on the line with the dispatcher when I got into North Little Rock and shortly after that I saw those blue lights finally!! Of course, then he backed off, but the cop already had him!! The dispatcher took my name, address, and phone number; reminded me that my call had been recorded, but said that it may be necessary to file a formal complaint. I agreed but it was all I could do not to turn around and stop with him and the officer. I could have hurt the guy!! Now, I have to go by the PD this afternoon to file a complaint! What was his deal?!?! Damn, now, I'm all pissed off again!!!!!

My own personal fitness contract!!

Based on an awareness of my personal health status, I, Kellie R. Nichols, am contracting with myself to follow the physical fitness program set forth herein to work toward the following health improvement goals to be achieved between the dates of December 26, 2006 and January 1, 2008. The benefits shall include but are not limited to improved self image, increased energy levels, avoidance of future health risks, and the promotion of a healthier lifestyle to my daughter.

Goals
1. To decrease my current weight, I will engage in aerobic activity three times a week and resistance training two times a week. I will follow the Nutrisystem Nourish weight loss program and minimize my caloric intake to a maximum of 1900 calories.
2. To improve my aerobic fitness, I will walk three times a week outside my home or office in the afternoons or evenings for a minimum or thirty minutes at my target heart range of 128-172 bpm.
3. To balance my overall fitness level, I will participate in full body resistance training twice a week at the ACH gym during my lunch break for a minimum of 30 minutes. I will also drink a minimum of six glasses (48 ounces) of water daily.
4. To maintain accountability and support, I will recruit the assistance of at least one individual willing to contact me directly on a weekly basis as well as reviewing my required journals and weigh-ins. I will also continue blog submissions as needed for further support. Commitment to assist me shall be expressed by witness signature.

Monitoring Tools
I will use the following tools to monitor my program and my progress toward these goals:

1. Food Diary: A small notebook in which I shall record my general food intake and daily activity.

2. FitDay: A computer software program designed to record specifics about my overall nutrition, my caloric expenditure, my general mood, my measurement changes, and my overall weight loss.

3. Pedometer: A personal training instrument used to determine the number of steps I take each day, their corresponding distance in miles, and caloric expenditure.


Incentives
My program includes the following schedule of minigoals which, once achieved, shall result in the rewarding of the incentives listed:

Adhering to exercise schedule= Weekly= $5 Wardrobe Jar
Loss of 10 pounds= ~ Monthly= 1 Dinner Out
15 Pound Holiday Challenge (237 lbs)= January 12, 2007= Gym Bag
53 Pounds to Onderland (199 lbs)= May 18, 2007= Diamond Ring
96 Pounds to Goal (156 lbs)= January 1, 2008= Tatoo/Wardrobe Jar

If I fail to achieve any of these weight loss minigoals, I will forfeit the coordinating incentive.

Overcoming Conflicts
The following is a list of potential difficulties and how to avoid them.

Temptations resulting from lack of meal planning. This can be avoided by simply packing my days meals and snacks the night before to prevent hunger.

Lack of support for my lifestyle change. This is remedied by avoidance of negative individuals and continued contact with my support team.

Depression. Continued psychological treatment should alleviate this.

Self-consciousness about public knowledge of my diet program. Try to be open to questions about my program and forthcoming with information for anyone with questions.

General laziness. Increase activity gradually and try to include an increase in everyday activities which will also increase my energy levels.


I, Kellie R. Nichols, have reviewed this contract and I agree to discuss the experiences involved in accomplishing or not accomplishing these health improvements with Philip D. Nichols each and every Monday.

Signed: __________________________ Date: _________________


Witness 1:________________________ Date: _________________


Witness 2:________________________ Date: _________________

Christmas Damage Control

I have been a bad, bad girl. Santa should take back my gifts!!

Okay, so the holidays tend to bring out the best and worst in me. What can I say, other than, I will try to do better next year!! It may have been a bit naive of me to think that I could jump back on the dieting wagon just before all the major eating holidays. Well, live and learn!! In this spirit of self forgiveness, I am posting today's Daily Dose from the NS website. It's really a good one!!

Don’t regress. Progress!
Holiday Tip #26: Learn from your mistakes and move on.

The leftovers are boxed and in a fridge far, far away. The presents are being enjoyed. The house is finally quiet again, and you’re getting back to the grind. So how did you fare? Did you participate in the smorgasbord, mindlessly shoveling into your mouth everything that crossed your path? Or, did you put into practice what you’ve learned, allowing yourself to sample only your favorites without overindulging? Hopefully you celebrated the holiday in high style, maintaining control, but if you’re shaking your head at yourself (noting that your pants fit just a tad more snugly today), have your moment of regret and then LET IT GO! Don’t put your energy into feeling guilty. Nothing good can come of that!

Don’t succumb to that inner critic and allow one minor slip-up to ruin weeks of hard work and dedication. (And if you did claim victory over that chocolate soufflé, let out a loud YAY!)
There’s less than one week left of 2006 and it’s time to really psyche ourselves up for the coming year—so let’s get started! Regardless of what happened yesterday, or the week before that, or the week before that, let’s rededicate ourselves today by vowing to enter into the New Year with guns blazing and weight loss goals in sight.

You can’t change yesterday, but you can definitely triumph tomorrow!

One of those times....AGAIN!!!

Why does weight loss have to be so much harder than weight gain?!? Temptations seem to far outnumber inspirations! I have strayed off-track again. I find that I am actually craving french fries and ice cream so badly that it feels like a physical withdrawal from an addiction. I have been blaming it on so much lately...the Holidays, PMS, TOM, depression... I just always seem to find myself in these slumps!!! I hate this!! How in the hell did I get to this point in my life?!? How did I lose myself beneath an 80 pound layer of cellulite?!?! How do I keep myself on the "straight and narrow"? I have been reading so many of the NS Daily Doses as well as the other blogs that I am into. There are so many others out there like me, yet I still feel like I am alone at times and that I can't do this! Then, there is the real clincher in my warped mental justification: People like me, why the hell should I give a damn about my weight?!? I'm in decent condition health wise with no diseases or internal effects of my excess weight, why should I change?!? Despite all my attempts to improve my mental attitude toward my weight loss, I still find myself struggling everyday not to eat everything in site!!!

Okay, new strategies are obviously in order!! I have got to find some sort of daily (or even hourly; hell, minute by minute for that matter) affirmation or inspiration to revert to in my times of weakness and struggle.

Oh and I have just had a brainstorm!!! I saw this on another blog I visited recently. I have to put everything in writing. I have to make a commitment to myself and the only way that I can do that is to create a contract that includes a specific plan for my GMC. (G oal M otivation C onflict)

Goal To reach a weight of 156 pounds by New Year's Day 2008.

Motivation To feel better about myself. To be a healthy role model for my daughter. To have more energy. To be able to buy cute clothes. To avoid any future health risks.

Conflict General laziness and unwillingness. Too many tempting opportunities resulting from lack of planning. Little support at home. Depression. Self-conscientiousness about public knowledge of my dieting. Feeling as though it would just be better to not try than to fail.

Geez, I have issues! The next thing I have to do is to come up with ways to remind myself of what I am striving for. I am considering some inspirational quotes to display around those weakest areas of my life. My office, my fridge, my car even could use some up-lifting sentiments. I have also thought about printing some of these quotes on address labels that I could then stick to things like my debit card or credit cards. That way when I go to whip it out at McDonald's there would be a happy little message of hope for me right there. I am still working on converting my urges for food into urges for exercise, but that is so difficult. I haven't been able to find a sincere appreciation for exercise yet!! I am open to any other suggestions...

And finally, I have to decide on some sort of reward system. A motivation to help keep me on track. Something that I yearn for more than those fries or that jamocha shake. I have to look deep inside myself for something that I would be willing to seriously work for.

Once I have done all this, I will write it up in contract form and sign it. I will then have my hubby and maybe even my mom witness it for me. I am hoping that if I lay out my precise plan, my family may find it easier to support my program. I might even be able to find a way to include him and motivate him to do the same!!! Then, I can post copies of this contract in visible areas or my home and office as a reminder of goal and it's impending prize.

I will work on this today and post it tomorrow!

Funny Friday

If only that were true, huh?!?

The new dog went over just fine last night. The husband was a bit perturbed but when I told him the story about Derby his heart just melted. This morning cinched his official membership in our family. He stayed in the house with us all night. Keep in mind that we bought our home in September and it was newly carpeted, so we took quite a risk last night!! Anyway, Derby did so well and impressed us all. I slept on the couch so that I could hear him if he needed to go to the bathroom. He lay on the floor beside the couch all night. When my bladder woke me up at 4:19 this morning, he decided he needed to go too. He just stood patiently in front of the door while I went to the bathroom. Once outside, he took care of business, sniffed around a bit and then headed for the house! So, no piles or puddles in our home!! YAY DERBY!!! This made my hubby very, very happy. It also helped to learn that he was neutered and fully vetted, too. I think what really convinced him though is that I took him to Petsmart yesterday to have him groomed. He came home to meet his new daddy looking gorgeous, feeling so soft, and smelling of sugar cookies curtesy of the holiday grooming package there!! We are going tonight to get him a dog house and invisible fence system. Everything is wonderful today!!!

I'm in trouble...

Okey, so I should never mix anger and pets again. After writing yesterdays post, I started looking for Jack Russell Terriers. I have wanted one for years and it just never seemed like the right time and we didn't have the cash to get one. I was surfing the website of the local animal shelters. There at the Little Rock Animal Shelter (LRAS) I found a lovely little female who was in urgent need of a home. She had been there for a while and was in danger of being euthanized. My heart melted and I decided to go and check her out.

I took my lunch break to travel a few blocks to the shelter and when I got there, they said that she had been fostered and most likely be housed in British Columbia!!! I turned to leave when I noticed that someone was standing outside with a couple of dogs, one of which looked like a terrier mix. I went out to find that these were the last of about 20 animals that needed to be housed before December ended or their time was up. There were 2 dogs: a little beagle mix who had an injured eye and acollie/pyrenese mix with a lovely coat. I was torn not only between them but also on whether or not to take one home. I tried to call my hubby but his cell phone is on the fritz and I couldn't reach them. Meanwhile, another woman fell for the beagle and I started talking to the handler. The collie mix had been turned over to the shelter by a family who had to move away. He was nuetered and had all his shots when he arrived, they just couldn't take him with them. The LRAS can only foster an animal for 6 months. Then they go to Last Chance Arkansas. Here is where they foster them out to volunteers in the hope that they will get a home. They can only stay in this foster care for 8 weeks. This dog's time was up. He was actually back at the shelter because his time was up on December 15 and he was scheduled to be put to sleep. I just couldn't let that happen!! So......

Meet Derby the newest member of our family. This is his shelter pic and he is so much prettier after his bath and brushing!! Isn't he a dream!?!? Now I ask you, could you have let them put him down?!?! The only problem now is telling my husband. The shelter held him overnight last night so that I could prepare for him, but I have to pick him up this afternoon. I tried to tell him last night, but he was grumpy (the cat was bugging him and he hasn't been sleeping well lately) and he was engrossed in a program on TV. So I just went on to bed. I am planning on relying on the old saying: "It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission."

Pray for me!! I may be either dead or divorced tomorrow!!!

If only husbands were pets...

Wouldn't a pet husband be so much easier to deal with than a real, human one?!? My life would be so much nicer if I could just scold him a few times about an issue and he would learn not to do it again! My home would be so much cleaner if I could just rub his nose in his messes and then he wouldn't make them anymore! My world would be so much less hectic if I could train him to take care of simple household tasks on command, without refuse, without attitude, and with only offering a treat afterward! My bed would be so much more comfortable if I didn't have to worry about sexual advances when I am not in the mood and all I had to do was find a comfy position, get in it, and rub his belly.

I had a long, exhausting day yesterday. I had to get up at 5:30 to leave my house by 6:30 to pick up the company vehicle at 7:30 an hour away. We drove it 1.5 hours away to an allergy clinic at a distant school district. We had appointments starting at 10 and lasting until 4:15 that afternoon. We then had to drive the 1.5 hours back to my office, unload, return the vehicle. I finally started out on the hour-long drive home at 7 pm last night. I called my hubby to let him know that I was on my way home and that I would be there by about 8 or so. He was at home with our daughter. He actually asked me to stop and pick up milk and bread on my way home!!! There is a f*&#ing store about 5 blocks from our house!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? Even then, I didn't lose my temper. I was tired. I didn't want to fight. I just told him that it would be after 8 (our child's bedtime is 8:30) before I would be there and he should just go down to the grocery store right quick and get some. He huffed and we got off the phone. Again, I am trying to keep from getting angry...I called my mom and we chatted for a while during which he called me back several times. I didn't answer his call because I was on the line with my mom. I get of the call to mom and see that I have a voicemail. If you could only hear it, typing it here just doesn't do it justice: "{huge huffy sigh} Will you call me back please!!!"

And, so, all patience left me and I did call him back. Of course then we fought and apparently, I "never answer his calls". NOTE: I love how we all generalize issues as "always" or "never" when we're angry. Nothing is ever "always" or "never" in reality!!! Long story short, I still end up stopping to get milk and stuff and in my angry fit, I also bought a king-sized, triple chocolate drumstick. Nice, an extra 440 calories that my anger fed but couldn't burn off!!

So, today, I am wishing I had bought a dog instead of a wedding license!! A dog doesn't complain if you don't serve it dinner. A dog doesn't expect you to jump whenever it barks and won't snapped at you if you don't respond to it quickly enough. You can teach a dog to shit outside instead of in the bathroom just before your shower!! You can leave a dog at home for a while by himself and it won't call you and bug you about trivial things like "where is my ________"! I think I will trade him in on a Jack Russell Terrier!!!!

Weekend Update with Kellie Nichols

I had a wonderful time this weekend and I am so glad that we went! It was so worth it!!

We had nearly talked ourselves out of going Friday morning due to those dreadful money issues I mentioned earlier, but we decided at the last minute that it was important. It would just mean that we had to make the trip much cheaper than usual. So we packed up a couple ice chests along with our luggage and headed to my in-laws. We dropped off the kids (daughter and dog), had a bite to eat, and hit the highway.

About 5 hours later we stopped at Wal-mart where we enjoyed sandwiches in our car before we went inside to purchase a couple last minute necessities (hubby forgot to pack underwear!!). About an hour and a half later, we checked into our Motel 6 in St. Louis. They'd had some snow and ice the previous week and the ground shimmered. Following the exhaustive drive and the new experience of 10 lane traffic, we crashed for the night.

Saturday morning, we both woke up bright and early before the alarm even went off!! We had a day of totally free activities planned and we were eager to get started. The Halocaust Museum, The St. Louis Walk of Stars, the Cathedral Basilica, the St. Louis Zoo, and a couple of famous old cemetaries were on our agenda. AND ALL FREE TO THE PUBLIC!!! We shared a breakfast special at the Waffle House and a couple cups of some of the most perfect coffee ever and started our adventure!

And boy was it ever an adventure!! Apparently, St. Louis either doesn't believe in the keeping of state maps or it is such a popular destination that they are constantly out, because they illuded us all day!! None at the front desk, none at the tourest center, none at the gas station even!! We ended up using the little bit of one in the phone book that just had a dot for all the attractions and only names the major interstates through the city!! NO STREET NAMES!! OMG! It was so funny!!

We started out looking for the Halocaust Museum and couldn't find it. so we pulled up beside a parked police officer only to find him in a deep sleep!! When we finally gave up our search for that destination and started trying to find the Walk of Stars, we stumbled upon the Museum to find that it was closed!!

So, we head for the Walk of Stars. It's got these bronze stars imbedded in the concrete along the street for each of the prominant people associated in some way with the city. People like Miles Davis and Albert King for my musician husband and people like Tennessee Williams and T S Elliot for me. Of course, we couldn't find it so we decided to head for the zoo. Guess what?!? Once we started trying to find the zoo, we found the walk!! Now, we were 2 for 2!! We stopped and took pics of our preferred stars and headed to the zoo.

The zoo was a bit easier to find and all we had to do was follow the signs on the highway! It was awesome!! We had lunch in the car again, the whole time worried that everyone was making fun of the hillbillies from Arkansas; sittin in their car at the zoo and eating sandwiches. The zoo was so great! So many animals and such an unbelievable facility and FREE!! We ended up spending the rest of the afternoon there and got lost when it was time for them to close! It was so great, I could have spent another day there!!

Then, of course, was the whole reason for the trip: Jeff Dunham at The Funny Bone! He was fantastically hilarious and soooooo worth the trip!! We even got to see a new puppet that had only been introduced a week ago!! So much fun!!

Note to all future St. Louis visitors: The joint shuts down after midnight!! Even the Wal-marts and Walgreens we could actually find were closed!!! Thankfully, we found an open Taco Bell and indulged a bit on a couple tacos.

We got up Sunday and headed home. We landed in Sikeston, MO right at 12:15. Perfect time for the one extravagence we had planned for the weekend: Lunch at Lambert's Cafe!! For those that don't know, it's the place where they throw the fresh hot rolls at you and feed you all this incredible country style cooking untill you feel like you are going to burst!! You order your meal with 2 veggies (we both got the pork chops) and that's what you get, but then they also have these servers circulating the room with pans of fried okra, skillet potatoes, mac and cheese, black-eyed peas.... And they just pile you up with any of it you want!! OMG!! I am still full!!

And, no it was not on my diet, but I was really, really good last week and I will be really, really good this week too. I weighed this morning and I had only put on about 1.6 pounds for all of it, but I am confident that I can get right back on track this week. Besides, it was just such a great weekend with my hubby and I really enjoyed myself!!

I did not want to come to work this morning though!!!

I HATE MONEY!!!

Gosh, why does everything have to be so hard!?!? We've had this great weekend planned for months and now it looks like we may not be able to go!!

Okay, so here's the story. We started a new policy in October with our life insurance agent. He's a nice guy really and we have been with this company for almost 9 years now. Anyway, we started these new policies and turned over $70 to get them started. He came back a month later with the paperwork and said that our first automatic payment would be $109 on November 24th. This would include the premiums for October and November. Makes since so far, right? Last week, they drafted $255 from our checking account!! I don't know about some of you guys, but our budget is pretty tight and an unexpected expense really hurts us!! It was 2 days before my husbands paycheck hit and it plunged us into the red. Of course, then every other check we still had out bounced and of course, the bank (ridiculously, I might add) charges you more of what you don't have! We ended up with $248 in overdraft charges!! 2 days has ruined our entire month of December and maybe even hurt our Christmas!! And the company refused to budge. They claim "riders" on our policy increased the price and that it was the fault of our agent who told us the wrong amount. So we have to just take it up the you-know-what!!

So, now we are behind about $400, which was trip money we had planned to use for this weekend on our little holiday to St. Louis. The Jeff Dunham tix are already paid for and are non-refundable and I was so looking forward to it!! I'm upset, mad, depressed, and whatever else I could possibly be in a situation like this!! What Christmas shopping I will be able to do has to wait until the 15th when hubby gets paid again and I just have to hope and pray that the bills I am having to skip to pay others aren't going to ruin us later in January too!!

I HATE MONEY!! When I am Queen of the World, I will change all that!

One Scale + One Non-Scale Victory!!!

Scales are down another 2 pounds!! YAY!! Unfortunately, I can't change my turtle ticker up top to reflect this! Something weird is going on with blogger beta today. The format for posting has somehow changed and I can't get my customization stuff to change! I'll try tomorrow because I am really excited about making that little guy move some!!

Non-Scale-Wise: I spent the weekend out of town and though I did not eat the NS foods I had taken with me, I still did very well about minimizing what I did eat. I managed to keep my calories well under my allotement and still eat the meals provided by the band organization which included KFC, a breakfast buffet, and McDonald's!! I am very proud of myself!

I wasn't feeling very well yesterday and I am still feeling quite off today. My stomach is upset; I feel jittery; and I keep getting chills although it is warm in my office. Not sure what all that's about, but I can't afford to get sick now! This weekend is jam pack with things that really can't be cancelled for illness!! I am out of town for schedule research clinic for 3 days this week and this weekend is our trip to St. Louis. Those tix are non-refundable. Ugh!! Please pray that I will be feeling better by morning!! I am planning on going home early this afternoon to rest.

December Already?!?!?

OMGosh!! It's December! Where has the time gone?!? I got a little "put off" today when I ripped November off of my desk top calender. I have December 31st marked as "Onderland Goal" in bright green ink. The worst of it all is that if I hadn't lost myself for about 6 weeks or so, I would probably be getting very close to that goal right now!! How saddening! And extraordinarily disheartening!! It's just terrible to think about where I might have been if I had managed to stay on track.

My only comfort is knowing that I should be back to my pre-depression weight (234 lbs) by that time. I can't focus on my lost time or regrets. I have to stay totally focused on reaching my goal. Especially since it's the holiday season. There is so much more temptation right now. Two of my favorite things are typical only available around Christmas; namely egg nog and chocolate covered cherries. And I have made it to the first day of December without a single bit of either!!! YAY ME!!!

December is a very busy month in general too and I am hoping that the extra fun activities will keep me busy and my mind off all the Christmas goodies skulking about the stores. Today, I am going with my hubby's high school marching band all the way to Shreveport, Louisiana. They were invited (and paid) to perform in the Christmas parade there. I have my meals packed and plan to stick to my plan as best I can. Next weekend, I am taking Friday off and Phil and I are headed up to St. Louis for three days. We haven't been alone together since last May and we are going to see my fave comic Jeff Dunham!!! I am so excited!! Then there is my office party on the 15th and then of course Christmas and New Years!! That doesn't even include the 8-10 days of travelling for work that I will be doing this month!! WHEW!! All that should definitely keep me occupied!!!

So, now I am setting a new Onderland Goal: May 18, 2007. This will coordinate perfectly with my 10 year anniversary and a good friend's 40th birthday, which better be one helluva party!!! ;)

PS. "helluva" was actually in my spell checker!!!