Wouldn't a pet husband be so much easier to deal with than a real, human one?!? My life would be so much nicer if I could just scold him a few times about an issue and he would learn not to do it again! My home would be so much cleaner if I could just rub his nose in his messes and then he wouldn't make them anymore! My world would be so much less hectic if I could train him to take care of simple household tasks on command, without refuse, without attitude, and with only offering a treat afterward! My bed would be so much more comfortable if I didn't have to worry about sexual advances when I am not in the mood and all I had to do was find a comfy position, get in it, and rub his belly.
I had a long, exhausting day yesterday. I had to get up at 5:30 to leave my house by 6:30 to pick up the company vehicle at 7:30 an hour away. We drove it 1.5 hours away to an allergy clinic at a distant school district. We had appointments starting at 10 and lasting until 4:15 that afternoon. We then had to drive the 1.5 hours back to my office, unload, return the vehicle. I finally started out on the hour-long drive home at 7 pm last night. I called my hubby to let him know that I was on my way home and that I would be there by about 8 or so. He was at home with our daughter. He actually asked me to stop and pick up milk and bread on my way home!!! There is a f*&#ing store about 5 blocks from our house!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? Even then, I didn't lose my temper. I was tired. I didn't want to fight. I just told him that it would be after 8 (our child's bedtime is 8:30) before I would be there and he should just go down to the grocery store right quick and get some. He huffed and we got off the phone. Again, I am trying to keep from getting angry...I called my mom and we chatted for a while during which he called me back several times. I didn't answer his call because I was on the line with my mom. I get of the call to mom and see that I have a voicemail. If you could only hear it, typing it here just doesn't do it justice: "{huge huffy sigh} Will you call me back please!!!"
And, so, all patience left me and I did call him back. Of course then we fought and apparently, I "never answer his calls". NOTE: I love how we all generalize issues as "always" or "never" when we're angry. Nothing is ever "always" or "never" in reality!!! Long story short, I still end up stopping to get milk and stuff and in my angry fit, I also bought a king-sized, triple chocolate drumstick. Nice, an extra 440 calories that my anger fed but couldn't burn off!!
So, today, I am wishing I had bought a dog instead of a wedding license!! A dog doesn't complain if you don't serve it dinner. A dog doesn't expect you to jump whenever it barks and won't snapped at you if you don't respond to it quickly enough. You can teach a dog to shit outside instead of in the bathroom just before your shower!! You can leave a dog at home for a while by himself and it won't call you and bug you about trivial things like "where is my ________"! I think I will trade him in on a Jack Russell Terrier!!!!
1 comment:
HE HE- Before I ment my hubby I would often think that it would be me and the dog forever! If I looked after her she would protect me and even now that I am married I rely on her alot for support. I feel like she knows when I'm having a weak momment or if I feel a little depressed. All I have to do is look at her and she always does something that makes me feel beter. I agree sometimes dogs are beter! LOL
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