Some Resolutions...

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I will get in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I will gain the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I will assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I will recognize that in some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

5. I will understand that my intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.

6. I will not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

7. If someone hurts me, I will acknowledge that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, though not nearly as rewarding.

8. I will become one with my duality.

9. I will be more flexible, for then I can tie myself in knots.

10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

11. I will honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

13. I will maintain that a scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

14. I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future.

16. I will feel secure in the fact that the complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.

17. Before I criticize a man, I will walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

Here's to a promising New Year to all!!!