And yet, I am not feeling very funny. I am still in a rut. And it is not destined to get better with the coming weekend. I am chaperoning an overnight band trip beginning with this evening. Of course, I have packed a few snacks. Things like those 100 calorie snack packs and beef jerky are waiting in my trunk, but I will be eating out most of the weekend including the breakfast buffet at the hotel. I am almost scared of myself. I can't pick myself back up right now. I can't escape the mentality that "Well, I've already blown it this week, so I might as well keep going." That or the other wondrous thought: "I don't get to go out of town often and it is being paid for, so I can just live it up some!!" I know it's wrong; I know it, but that doesn't make it any less believable in my mind. How am I supposed to eat right when EVERYONE else with us will be eating WHATEVER they want. I always feels so self conscious in situations like this. I feel like if I am trying to eat healthy, everyone around is thinking to themselves about the band director's fat wife trying to lose weight. Strangely enough, I feel so much more comfortable eating the way a fat girl is "supposed" to be eating. Again, I know its a mental block, but it's a block the size of the Empire State Building and would seem to be impassable. I know it's my depression and my TOM that only compound the issues. I need to find a mantra. Something that I can say to myself at my lowest points that will lift my spirits and make me stop long enough to see that the actions I am considering are not necessarily good ones. Any suggestions?
7 comments:
I have the same "I already blew this week... might as well wait til next week to get back on track" mentality. I wish I had some good advice for you, but its so hard.
Weren't you the one who posted all of your 'whys' not too long ago? And in the end it came down to your daughter? Well thats what you need to think of at your lowest moments... and hopefully it'll get you through.
And so what if people think 'theres the fat band leaders wife trying to lose weight'.. cause ya know what? You ARE trying, and they should be proud of you for that!! And if anyone thinks otherwise then screw them! Honestly, I highly doubt anyone is thinking that anyway.
Enjoy the trip. Try to make some good decisions. And just hang in there :)
I wish you much strength to get through this weekend. I think you should feel a great deal of pride in making the right choices regardless of what other people are doing. You're working toward a better life. Alcoholics face their demons and don't drink. Same with smokers. Overeaters have to face their demons at the very least 3 times a day. You should be very proud of yourself. We're all proud of you. I bet every single person reading this entry has gone through, or is going through this exact thing. You are not alone in this. When you're eating, just imagine it is us bloggers there with you.
I think that you need to be proud of your success thus far and focus on the positive side of your journey rather than dwell on the negative.
I've had bad weeks and when I hop on the scale I always look back and wished I'd tried a bit harder to get back on course instead of crashing and burning. Maybe you need to think to yourself...a new week starts today instead of waiting until weigh in day to start your new week?
A breakfast buffet is full of great choices...just think of all the delicious fruit you can eat, or if they have an omlete station think of the yummy omlete you could order...
I wish you the best of luck this weekend, I'm sure you'll have a great time, and try not to worry so much about what others are thinking...I bet it's all in your head anyway. I know I don't worry about what others are eating...I'm too busy eating myself!
When everyone else around me is enjoying unhealthy food, I avoid feelings of deprivation with a few tricks. First, I remind myself *I* am worth it. I am worth all the sacrifice and pain. My health is valuable. Second, I remind myself that the joy of food is fleeting, but the joy of good health can last a lifetime. Third, I let myself indulge a bit. You should enjoy your food! Just have one or two treats instead of an entire meal of treats, and follow the basics like portion size. And if all else fails, I eat whatever I want but I eat it slowly. I use my non-dominant hand, or I force myself to sip water between every bite. It slows me down and I feel fuller sooner, but I still get to enjoy my "cheat" meal.
I wish I had sugestions but I have the same problem. I am an all or nothing kind of dieter. Just try to be aware of what you eat. Eat what you really want but just one serving. Don't beat yourself up over and try not to binge.
I wish I had sugestions but I have the same problem. I am an all or nothing kind of dieter. Just try to be aware of what you eat. Eat what you really want but just one serving. Don't beat yourself up over and try not to binge.
I have the same problem...this situation is one of my biggest problems when it comes to my social life...I really don't have any suggestions, but please try to be strong....best wishes!
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