Thursday, January 18, 2007

Still feeling pretty crappy...


I have been remiss in my posting the last few days, but this month's Red Dragon was quite ferocious and would not let me leave the house. I don't think details are necessary as most of my blogmates are female, so I won't share them.


I am also struggling with my depression this morning. I binged over the weekend and I am really hating myself for it now. I know that there is nothing to do but make today better, but it still feels like a serious failure when I was doing so well.
My steps at least improved over the weekend. I still have a bit of work to do to make those Saturday and Sunday stretches to 7500, but it is climbing a bit. I just didn't realize how much walking I actually do at work. Unfortunately, there are those two full days where all I did was rest on my couch with a heating pad on my belly; chocolate and beef jerky in my fists. I didn't even wear my pedometer, but I am certain that having rarely left that position my steps would have been pitiful anyway. I did put it on this morning, so we will see how it goes.
I wish more people realized that weight loss is more of a mental battle than a physical battle. I think it was Robyn who posted something like "Fat people already know everything they need to know to lose weight" (sorry about my poor quoting skills if that was all wrong). It's so true though. People who are desperate to lose weight already know all about things like calorie deficit, BMI, and cardiovascular health. We've tried all the diets and most of us have had some success, but we revert to our previous habits pretty quickly even though we KNOW that we have to stay on track to continue succeeding. I'd be willing to bet that the average obese individual knows more about the various aspects of diet, exercise, and weight loss, than most general physicians and even some physical trainers!!!
The same goes for me. I know exactly what I am supposed to do, but I can't seem to do it. I can't overcome my mentalalities toward overeating and laziness. If I can't overcome these, then I am destined to be this size forever, no matter what my goals or motivations are. I am not saying I want to quit trying, but it would be nice to be able to conquer my mind and stop letting it conquer me. So, I am headed to Barnes and Noble this afternoon to research some books that may be helpful. Here's hoping...

6 comments:

Cory said...

I understand how you feel. I've been having the same problem for the past three months. I think that's why I've only lost 9 pounds. It's so hard to get yourself to do what you KNOW you have to do.

~~Midnight Raider~~ said...

My problem is mental AND emotional AND a habit. I tend to turn to food for comfort and such. Sometimes I think it's a matter or willpower or retraining my brain. I don't know...

jeannie* said...

So true. We need to overcome our mentalities... stop thinking the 'I'll start beig strict and good tomorrow' and start doing what we know we have to today. Let me know if you find any good books!

Hang in there. That time of the month can really SUCK!

Sally JPA said...

There's an article in last month's O Magazine (I think it was last months--in the last couple of months, anyway) where the author worked with two dieting O staffers to teach them about compassion towards themselves. I used the technique last night, and it actually worked! You may want to look for that article. It was about the two Lisas and their struggles for weight loss.

Annieann77 said...

First off I would like to say welcome back and that I missed your posts! ;) Your step count was good for the weekend and you are totally kicking my butt!

I agree with you 100%, loosing weight is not just a matter of eatting less and excersizing more (those were my hubbies suggestions on loosing weight-- DUH) It is totally about your mental health as well and about breaking an addiction. I still have strong cravings for cigarettes and I quit 3 years ago! I'm almost certain that I will feel the same way about nachos and cheese or pizza --hmmm pizza ;) I worry that I will have to challange myself mentally for the rest of my life, always counting and thinking about what I ate, how much I ate ... etc. Sometimes you just have to live!

Anyway glad to see your feeling a little better! And did you see I finally posted a pic of me! he he

WeightWatchnWoman said...

I agree with your post 100%. I have the same thoughts that if I do not overcome my mentalities and my laziness (when it comes to working out), then I will be fat forever. Let me know if you found anything interesting at Barnes & Nobles.